Writer, Photographer,

Hey all, I’m glad you guys liked my bathroom sign blog–thanks for the nice comments!  

So, last week I took the plunge. As much as I HATE going to the dentist due to some unfortunate experiences with them earlier in life, I found a new dentist to go with my new insurance. Then I made an appointment and actually went! What followed was equal parts ridiculous and amusing…

People in a Waiting Room                                                                 
Now, as much as I don’t like to actually interact with most people, I do enjoy observing them from a safe distance in their natural habitat. Waiting rooms are always people-watching paydirt, seems like, and this day was no exception. As I was filling out my paperwork I noticed a mother and teenage son a few seats over, obviously happy to be there just as I was. The mother was loudly proclaiming that the cause for the son’s 10 (ouch) cavities–including a root canal or two–were the result of him sitting in his room all day eating candy while he talked on his cell phone. Messy-haired son was too busy texting to be embarrassed about Mom’s broadcast though, and even took a few calls from his adoring public to mumble updates about where he was and the status of his being grounded. 

Just as I was getting bored with the mother-and-son combo, a man walked in with a seeing-eye dog. More like, the man was attempting to walk toward the sound of the receptionist’s voice as the dog got distracted by every person, chair, magazine, and dust mite along the way. The man and receptionist had a long conversation about each other’s dogs, the most interesting point being that the seeing-eye dog had lead the blind man past the dentist’s office twice. The man got called before me, and I watched as he dragged the dog along. The dog actually started leading, but unfortunately stopped dead in his tracks right in front of the women’s restroom. It would appear that dogs of this nature might be trying to cause the downfall of mankind, but then again maybe he does useful things at home. OR, maybe the dog was thrown off by the scent of so much human fear in the place. I imagine dentist’s offices around the world are just rank with it.

Hygienist or Scam Artist?
When I finally got called back, I had X-rays taken and then proceeded to wait in a chair for around 30 minutes until someone noticed I was there. A dentist and a hygienist of some type came in, and the dentist said I was gorgeous and asked how old I was and what I did for a living (it’s cool, he was old). The hygienist thought I said “auditor” instead of “editor,” but when corrected began to drill (get it??) me about the publishing world because evidently his wife has some great picture books lying around. Good luck, sister! As soon as the dentist left though, the hygienist leaned in, and you know that nothing good follows the words “hey, this is going to be super random, but…” The hygienist apparently has some get-rich-quick scheme on the side that he wanted me to be a part of. He shoved a DVD of some type at me and gave me a wink. If I ever get desperate enough to follow up on this, please somebody return me to my cell and give me a kitten to look at, or something.

Jill FM
I sat in the waiting room 3 times, and twice in a chair, for a total of an hour and a half. I really started to miss my old dentist’s office, which was a much smaller operation. The small niceties were that Gilmore Girls was on tv in the waiting room, and Jill FM was blaring from the speakers back in the office. Has anyone else ever heard of Jill FM? I guess it was only a matter of time before someone decided to get cute and create a companion station for the ever-so-much-more-hip Jack FM. Too bad Jill FM plays really lame Kelly Clarkson songs over and over. Seemed like it had real potential!

So that was my trip to the dentist. I did have two teeny cavities that I’ll have to wait 3 months to get fixed because of an inexplicable waiting period with my new insurance. 3 months? What kind of sense does that make, I ask you? Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll need root canals by then. You never know with me.

–Jillangill

Well, the inspiration for this random little project came when we landed in the London, Heathrow airport the first time and I happened to notice the sign for the ladies room. It cracked me up! I started thinking about how differences in women (or the perceptions of women) could really vary from place to place, and how I could maybe document these differences as we traveled around.

I was not disappointed. Behold: women of the world!

Let’s start with England. It would seem that British women are inherently bottom-heavy and everybody knows it. Or perhaps they are all just really big fans of Marilyn Monroe and that wind-blown skirt thing has found its way into their signage. Either way very entertaining, even though the woman on this sign has no arms.

This next one was taken at the train station in Madrid, Spain. I notice an emphasis on being hour-glassy in terms of figure. Looks kinda like a marshmallow peep with two popsicle sticks for legs. Mmmmm….peeps…  Anyway, again with the no-arms thing. What’s up, England and Spain? Do you find your women to be incapable or perhaps double amputees?

Next up is France. I think this one came from either a metro station or a train station. Either way, what’s up with the singular pogo-stick leg? The guy in the sign clearly has two legs of his very own and presumably does not have to suffer the indignity of hopping along on the streets. At least France is somewhat redeemed by the miraculous reappearance of arms. Although, I do feel like the woman in this sign should be holding a cigarette or something, just for accuracy’s sake.

Now Prague…what a sign! I found this gem in an authentic Czech restaurant we had lunch in one day. I feel like this sign could very well represent an entire country of willowy ballerinas. I was pretty intimidated just standing there. Also, she’s got arms! Just look at her: strong, capable, graceful, and with no pogo leg. 5 stars for you, Prague! 

Last, my favorite: Italy. More specifically, from the airport in Rome. Now, I saw my fair share of nuns while we were in Italy, so I’m inclined to think this sign is more of a nod to them rather than a suggestion that women should be somehow partially invisible or topless. Or maybe you’re supposed to put a tv screen on there like in Teletubbies. Either way, the stance of this thing is great. No primness or pogo leg here…no top-heaviness or bottom-heaviness or questionable skirt modesty. Just a hearty, non-dainty, pure and simple futuristic robot nun. Plus, I thought the blue on silver gave it a snazzy touch.

So what did I learn? Women should probably have two arms, two legs, and be completely visible in order to function. Get on board, world (except Prague, whose sign seems pretty great to me)! And fair’s fair, I might as well critique the sign of the good old US of A and see how we stack up against the competition.

Not bad, right? All limbs are present and accounted for, and she looks pretty broad-shoulder, dignified, and modest. Not like she’s about to belch in public or go to bed without brushing her teeth or sue someone on Judge Judy for misrepresentation in an ebay ad. In short, not a spectacularly accurate representation, but at least we’ve got braille! So proud to be an American!

So we did finally make it home, 28 hours late and after getting the full pat-down at Heathrow and being shuttled around LAX like refugees. Seriously, US customs is nuts. We’re happy to be home, over our jet-lag, and have no major casualties to report. The animals were quite happy to see us and I was thrilled to see my comfortable bed. Yay for sleeping through the night! 

My parents also came for a visit this weekend on their way back home to AZ after two weeks at the beach. We had lots of fun but now the house feels so empty! Time to get back to work and back into the swing of things…yay? 

So, some general observations from our trip:

1. Parisian women really are as glamorous (and snooty) as everyone says. Furthermore, they always look very put-together and wear really fabulous shoes. Even in the metro or running around on the streets, these stick-thin fashion plates will stroll by and I’m convinced that they have some gene which renders their feet to be numb to pain. If I wore the shoes they wear and tried to walk around all day, you can bet I’d be hobbling inside of 15 minutes.  

2. On a related note, about the whole “French Women Don’t Get Fat” school of thought…yes, they eat chocolate in moderation. But they also also smoke like chimneys and that’s of course an appetite suppressant. Smoking is much more common in Europe and doesn’t really carry the same stigma as here. Also, they walk around a huge city every day just to get from place to place, and that’s just not something that’s part of many American city cultures (unfortunately). 

3. People stare at each other a lot on public transportation, probably because there’s not much else to do. Seriously, it got creepy. You’d be sitting there and lock eyes with someone’s expressionless face, eyes just boring into you, and you kinda look away. Then you find they are STILL staring at you, so you awkwardly smile at them as a way to say “Yes? I see you. You forgot to take your invisible pill today.” They do not smile back, just keep staring. Sometimes people would choose an arbitrary part of you to stare at, like your hands or your shoes. It makes you pretty self-conscious and you end up fidgeting a little before deciding to also stare at your un-glamorous shoes and hope your stop comes soon. 

4. Where there were tourists, there were people begging. It got really difficult to see and walk by these people, because while I knew that probably a good chunk of them were just scamming tourists, it felt like I really had no business making that distinction for myself. Many people were in the metro tunnels, mostly women who looked like they were Indian just crouched and holding out their hand. Others were parked outside of cathedrals so as to perhaps bank on the guilt factor of people just coming out of church. We saw deformities of every sort, and it started to feel like some of the people were projecting an image of “See what the world has done to me? You owe me.” Strange to see that in a country with the best socialized health care program I’ve heard of to date. But I guess you never know. Now, there were some people who were complete scammers, and we’d been warned before. Teams of young girls dressed as gypsies would rush up to you and ask if you speak English. The reason being, I guess, to capitalized on the pride of tourists who would of course be happy to lend their talent. They’d hand you a card that begged for money. These girls were pretty aggressive, but I know how to look confused, keep walking, and say “I don’t speak English” in a few languages. It was also tough when people would come up to you directly and beg. They’ll hang on you and they won’t take no for an answer. One time Jeremy said “If Jesus were actually one of these beggars, which one do you think he’d be, the one outside the Vatican??” Just makes you think.

Well that’s it for now…next post will have my findings from my project to take pictures of the ladies room signs in each country and discuss their implications. Stay tuned.

-Jillangill

So after battling our way through the Rome airport and struggling through Heathrow, we got some bad news. Our flight was cancelled due to damage to the plane after a bird got sucked into one of the engines during takeoff from LAX. Really, what are the odds? The airline put us up in a nice hotel and provided food, which is really nice and more than I would’ve expected. It’s tough to be geared up for home and then to be derailed for another day though. We’re ready for home.

Rome was a great way to end our trip, and we had lots of fun! My favorite thing was St. Peter’s Basilica…it pretty much dwarfed every other church/cathedral we’d seen. Amazing, to put it very mildly. Something everyone should see.

We had some great food and some fun times on the rooftop terrace bar with a truly hilarious bartender (made great mojitos, too!). The outside temperature and the public transportation system were pretty uncomfortable at times, but the sights were definitely worth it!

Yesderday, our last full day in Rome, we wandered around the Trastavere area near our hotel and stumbled into yet another beautiful church. There was a statue there of Saint Antonio, and shoved into his arms, crowding his feet, and littering the base were pieces of paper. People’s wishes, people’s prayers. So much wanting. There was one lying open and written in English. It read:

“Dear Saint Antonio–hate to ask for two things, but please help me to find love AND my pandora bracelet.”

I just thought that was truly great. Love and a lost bracelet. I wrote my own request on a band-aid in its wrapper and tucked it deep. I’ll let you know if it works.

Finally in Rome!

Prague was my favorite so far. Well actually, if I could combine the architecture of Paris with the inexpensiveness, great weather, and wonderful company of Prague, that would be my favorite. And the food in Spain could be tacked onto that as well. We had a lot of fun meeting up with Sean and Jenny…it was great to see some familiar faces and have a change of conversation. Jeremy and I managed to beat them 5 games to 2 in Spades, so that was fun too. We had some wonderful Czech food, walked around the beautiful Charles Bridge and Prague Palace/cathedral, and just relaxed.

Our train trip from Prague to Florence took around 30 hours, and as usual we arrived at our destination hungry, tired, and in need of showers. Our night train to Venice consisted of 6 of us packed into a single car, with a sort of triple-decker bunk bed situation. I was a little weirded out about the prospect of sleeping so close to strangers, but our bunkmates were actually some really nice backpackers from Mexico and while I’ve had more comfortable nights of sleep, it was fine.

And well, we survived Florence. If anyone’s interested, Jeremy and I composed a photojournalistic tour of our craptacular “four-star” hotel there. The place was pretty much just in a general state of disrepair, and Jeremy and I had fun playing a new game called “count the mosquito bites on my face” each morning. We did locate the cause for the mosquitos…a festering pool of still water (non-functioning fountain) beneath the windows. Or maybe the mosquitos came from the cracks in our walls, the leaky windows, or the mysterious pipes sticking out into our cracker-box shower.

The city itself was really nice; the first full day we walked to Il Duomo and climbed the 481 steps to the top of the adjacent tower. Amazing sights! We went into the church connected to Il Duomo and I had to wear some sort of modesty shawl…more akin to a hospital gown but with a little more coverage in back. I’m not sure what the offense was, my shoulders were covered and my shorts were longer than the shawl. I had my suspicions that the guards were handing coverings out at random, or maybe if you looked like an American. In any case, no doods had to wear them, but I definitely wasn’t the only one who had to.

After the Il Duomo area, we headed to the Accademia to see Michaelangelo’s David. The line was long and it was blazing hot and humid outside, but it was all worth it. David is magnificent! He’s elevated on a pedestal and stands an additional 15 or so feet just by himself. Incredible…I couldn’t stop staring. You weren’t allowed to take pictures, but there was a duplicate David outside the Uffizi, so I took a picture of that one and called it good.

The second full day we braved the lines to go into the Uffizi, which had some really famous portraits I recognized. Unfortunately, many of the galleries and sculpture areas were closed. The rest of the day we wandered around, crossed the big bridge, had some great gelato, and wandered the 2 miles or so back to our hotel.

And now Rome! Our hotel here is about 3 million times cleaner and more comfortable than in Florence, with a spa, garden terrace with some “welcome drinks,” internet, and a hydromassage shower. Happiness.

We miss you all…seems like we’ve been gone a long time and we’re excited to come back. Happy 4th of July!!

-Jillangill