Writer, Photographer,

Hey all, I’m glad you guys liked my bathroom sign blog–thanks for the nice comments!  

So, last week I took the plunge. As much as I HATE going to the dentist due to some unfortunate experiences with them earlier in life, I found a new dentist to go with my new insurance. Then I made an appointment and actually went! What followed was equal parts ridiculous and amusing…

People in a Waiting Room                                                                 
Now, as much as I don’t like to actually interact with most people, I do enjoy observing them from a safe distance in their natural habitat. Waiting rooms are always people-watching paydirt, seems like, and this day was no exception. As I was filling out my paperwork I noticed a mother and teenage son a few seats over, obviously happy to be there just as I was. The mother was loudly proclaiming that the cause for the son’s 10 (ouch) cavities–including a root canal or two–were the result of him sitting in his room all day eating candy while he talked on his cell phone. Messy-haired son was too busy texting to be embarrassed about Mom’s broadcast though, and even took a few calls from his adoring public to mumble updates about where he was and the status of his being grounded. 

Just as I was getting bored with the mother-and-son combo, a man walked in with a seeing-eye dog. More like, the man was attempting to walk toward the sound of the receptionist’s voice as the dog got distracted by every person, chair, magazine, and dust mite along the way. The man and receptionist had a long conversation about each other’s dogs, the most interesting point being that the seeing-eye dog had lead the blind man past the dentist’s office twice. The man got called before me, and I watched as he dragged the dog along. The dog actually started leading, but unfortunately stopped dead in his tracks right in front of the women’s restroom. It would appear that dogs of this nature might be trying to cause the downfall of mankind, but then again maybe he does useful things at home. OR, maybe the dog was thrown off by the scent of so much human fear in the place. I imagine dentist’s offices around the world are just rank with it.

Hygienist or Scam Artist?
When I finally got called back, I had X-rays taken and then proceeded to wait in a chair for around 30 minutes until someone noticed I was there. A dentist and a hygienist of some type came in, and the dentist said I was gorgeous and asked how old I was and what I did for a living (it’s cool, he was old). The hygienist thought I said “auditor” instead of “editor,” but when corrected began to drill (get it??) me about the publishing world because evidently his wife has some great picture books lying around. Good luck, sister! As soon as the dentist left though, the hygienist leaned in, and you know that nothing good follows the words “hey, this is going to be super random, but…” The hygienist apparently has some get-rich-quick scheme on the side that he wanted me to be a part of. He shoved a DVD of some type at me and gave me a wink. If I ever get desperate enough to follow up on this, please somebody return me to my cell and give me a kitten to look at, or something.

Jill FM
I sat in the waiting room 3 times, and twice in a chair, for a total of an hour and a half. I really started to miss my old dentist’s office, which was a much smaller operation. The small niceties were that Gilmore Girls was on tv in the waiting room, and Jill FM was blaring from the speakers back in the office. Has anyone else ever heard of Jill FM? I guess it was only a matter of time before someone decided to get cute and create a companion station for the ever-so-much-more-hip Jack FM. Too bad Jill FM plays really lame Kelly Clarkson songs over and over. Seemed like it had real potential!

So that was my trip to the dentist. I did have two teeny cavities that I’ll have to wait 3 months to get fixed because of an inexplicable waiting period with my new insurance. 3 months? What kind of sense does that make, I ask you? Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll need root canals by then. You never know with me.

–Jillangill

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 31st, 2008 at 11:41 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.