Guilt
You know what’s a pretty worthless motivator? Guilt. I’ve read that when you try to motivate yourself from a deficit of what you feel you SHOULD be doing, it’s pretty much a wasted endeavor. Which I agree with. And yet….
Things I feel guilty about on a daily basis include but are not limited to the following:
1. Wow. Really? That pile of “transition” clothes is still chilling on the couch in my bedroom? And my laundry hamper is overflowing to the ground? Really?
2. Check me out, I’m a big, bad freelancer strolling out of my house at 1:30 in the afternoon, shamelessly sporting my jammies, to check the mail and see if my new Netflix movie has come. Oh yes, this is the big time, folks.
3. Ugh…go to the gym! But…I really don’t want to go to the gym tonight. I’m happy on the couch and it’s already past 8 and THAT is when all the predators come out to play…with their staring and their ridiculous bicep tattoos of the confederate flag…GO TO THE GYM!
4. Oh look, a computer! I should really sit down at this computer, open up some work, and work on it. Maybe right after I check my email for, umm, work-pertinent emails…oh NO I accidentally went to facebook! Well, as long as I’m here…
And there you have it. My guilt-triggers all come in the forms of pajama-related, housework-related, work-out-related, on-task-related laziness. Ugh. It’s a rare day when I go to bed and feel guilt-free because I have done enough work, tidied the house, worked out, etc., to feel worthwhile. Seems like there’s always something to feel guilty about. And when I really HAVE made the most of a day, in creeps the monster–that most hideous of all my triggers–the one that nudges me softly and says: “Hey. You. Remember your dreams and how you want to be a writer? Why don’t you write, then? What’s stopping you? Can’t you find the time, or do you just not love it, or aren’t you good enough?”